I been tagged

And not like that. Anyway, Bryan tagged me. I would link to him, but I am pretty much certain that everyone who reads this also reads his blog. And probably more often than this one. So I have to list seven things about me, in no particular order:

1. When I grow up, I want to be Tim de Waele. He's a cycling photographer who takes amazing shots like these. He may not be the most famous cycling photographer, but he is the best.

2. I was in Academic Decathlon in high school. It consumed my life. It was about 20 hours a week outside of school, which is more than I ever spend on a bike. But it paid off - we ended up second place nationally. I was the state champion in astronomy. I kid you not.

3. I've never had a pet. Not a real one, anyway; we've had a few fish. I'm not sure why we never had pets, but I've never felt like I'm missing anything.

4. Cycling is the only sport I have ever been remotely good at. I am terrible at basketball, I couldn't even name all the positions in football, and I am barely passable at soccer. But I can talk about cycling so much it will bore you to tears.

5. I just bought some new aero bars. It brought the total balance in my checking account to 35 dollars. That's all the money I have.

6. My favorite actor is Peter Sellers.

7. I wish I still lived in Santa Barbara.

Now you know everything there is to know about me. Exciting, isn't it? I would tag someone else with this, but I don't know anyone on blogger who isn't Bryan, so... that doesn't really work.

Now it's off to study. I have an Anthro final tomorrow and then my semester is over.

I survived. That's good enough for now.

I have never been put into such pain on a bicycle in my life. One lap into the Old Cap crit, my lungs were seared. Two laps in, I was convinced I was going to throw up. Five laps in, my whole face went numb. And nine laps in, I got pulled.

That’s an average of about two hours of driving for each lap completed. Not quite what I expected.

Then again, nothing that weekend was what I expected. Originally, my plan was to borrow my aunt’s minivan for the weekend, do the road race and crit, and make it a nice leisurely drive home.

In the end, I couldn’t make it out for the road race because my aunt needed her car. I ended up taking my uncle’s car. It’s a Benz. An S500 AMG, to be precise. With over 400 horsepower. And it costs a hundred thousand dollars.

And he just gave me the keys and told me to be careful.

So I threw my bike in the back and hit the road at 7:30. Google Maps says the drive from Lincoln Park in Chicago to Erik’s house should be four and a half hours. I hopped in the car, got on the 88 Tollway, and set the cruise control at 90. I didn’t slow down until I got to the Quad Cities, and that was just for gas. I rolled up at 11, well before my predicted arrival time. It was awesome.

What was not awesome was the crit the next day. I was completely not prepared for the difficulty of the course or the fitness of the other riders. The intensity of that race from the gun was like a punch in the face. I just kept getting dropped by one guy after another. It wasn’t just physically painful, it fucked with my mind as well.

I was under the impression that the line up at the start was based on registration order. Apparently, Bryan and I were totally wrong here. Everyone lined up as they pleased. Bryan and I lined up in the second row on the right side. What we should have done was elbow our way over to the front row on the left side, because realistically, that race was over in 30 seconds. Once that front group got away, they stayed away. On the very first downhill bit, Kevin Murray from Team FIRE went down and I just about ran over his head. I was overly cautious going through that corner every time after that, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to repeat last summer and bust my arm early in the season. But my start wasn’t the problem.

I have a pretty good cold going on, and it definitely affected me more than I thought it would. My chest is all congested and I have a cough, so it was pretty hard to draw air after a few laps. But that wasn’t the problem either.

The problem is, I’m fat as hell, and totally out of shape. There are a few reasons for this. One, it’s been a really hard semester. A lot more work than I thought it would be, and less sleep than ever before. And secondofly, there are no hills in Chicago. Wind? Tons of it. Bring it on. Tough, cracked roads? I am now an expert. But hills? There are no hills in this state. You have to go to Wisconsin to find some of those, and they aren’t even very good.

Most importantly, though, I’m just pretty lazy. I don’t ride enough, and I don’t make enough time for it. I don’t get on the trainer because I hate it, but if I want to school Bryan like I could last year, I’ve got to get on it. In the 5s, I could do what I did last year and not even own a bike until April, then train for a while and win a bunch of races. I learned in this, my first 4s race, that this new category is a whole different animal. I’ve got to get my ass in gear. Otherwise Bryan will get too cocky.

He should be cocky, though, because he did a great job this weekend. Racing smart to a 5^th place (in the money!) finish in the RR, then hanging in the second group to 10^th in the 4s and 14^th overall in the combined race. I figure pretty much no one who reads this has not raced it, so you guys know how bitchingly hard that course is.

And my new friend Syd made the women’s race her bitch. It was ridiculous. She kept smiling. Smiling. For a point of reference here, I grimaced from the starting gun until I got pulled, my face a mask of agony. Then I almost threw up. Smiling. Jesus.

Many thanks to everyone who helped me survive this race, including Bryan’s friends Erik and Natalie, who let me sleep in their beautiful home, even though they didn’t even know me. And to Bryan, for making sure Kaos still had a strong showing in Iowa in spite of me. Also for finding me a place to stay, and for being a good sport when I browbeat him into signing up for the road race…and then when I didn’t show up. Thanks to Pav for making a sweet 3s race and completely dominating the aggressive rider category. And talking to me. I didn’t even know Pav liked me until Sunday.

And for all of you, for actually reading this godawful post. You deserve some sort of medal. Though I won’t be giving you one.

I am exhausted.

I've been up since 8:15am on Tuesday and I haven't slept at all. It is a miracle that I still somehow functioning. Though I did just sleepwalk through my investigative piece that's due today. We were supposed to work on it this whole semester. I did mine in two days.

This paper is not very good. Not only that, it's pretty bad. And this is the only time I have ever turned in a paper of which I am embarrassed. It's probably a C+ paper and I know it.

Thankfully I've already written of the grade I'm getting in this class. The rest are As, so I'll be okay with a B(-) in there.

I'm getting intensely excited for this race. Unbelievably excited. Every time I think about it or I watch something cycling-related on the computer, my heart rate skyrockets. That could be the 36mg of Concerta coursing through my veins, but I don't think so. It's just pure, unadulterated adrenaline.

Too bad I'm slow. But I'm not going to let that get in my way. I'm going to kick as much ass as I can this weekend and see what happens.

Oh, and if I somehow feel great and ride well, I think I might do Joe Martin. Just thinking about it right now.

Big day today.

I did 83 miles with these guys this morning. It was almost five hours. It was with their 3s, who just got back from a weeklong training camp in Asheville, North Carolina. They were all in pretty good shape, to say the least. We rode far enough north that we rode HILLS. I didn't even know Illinois had hills. I had just finished a pretty long pull on the front when we hit the rollers, so I was caught completely unprepared. It was ugly.

Also present was Rebecca Much, a pro for Webcor. She's a former junior national champion in BOTH road and TT, and she finished second at junior worlds. She's really fast. Really, really fast. She toyed with me all day. Every time I attacked, and even when I countered off one of her attacks, I would look back and there she was, smiling away. She's also the 2005 National U23 crit champion, she she can sprint forever. In short, it was a very, very painful day in the saddle today.

On form

Well, not really on form.

I was out for a ride on the lakeshore path today. It was a windy day, so I traded pulls with a few guys. First was some dude on a Kestrel Talon. Had to be about 45, and I think we traded pulls three times. Then I was up front for a little while, I looked back, and all I could see was a tiny dot behind me. Whoops.

Later, I met up with a guy on a custom steel Serotta. He was like Dan Schult plus 60 lbs - strong rider at a set pace, but if I accelerated at all, he was gone. I did the same thing I did to the other guy and accidentally took off.

The events of today showed me that if I were to somehow obtain a fake ID that stated my age as 47 and entered a Masters race open exclusively to dentists, I would kick ass.

Unfortunately, one of the MetLife pros blasted by me a few minutes later as proved to me that no, I am definitely not on form.

Bryan - more Road Tubeless!

I want to race!

Badly. And right now.

I want less of this...


And more of this:


But hopefully not much of this:


So I want to go to Iowa City. Probably a foolhardy move, considering finals week starts that Monday. But still! I'll bring a textbook or something. I'm itching to race. Though there probably won't be much of this going on:


But that's okay.